Elegy

Always seems like when I get to the beginning of the month I return to the crossroads and try to figure out what road I'm going to take and where it leads the next 31 days.  It's been a long month for me, with my mom coming off from shoulder surgery and now having to deal with the tornado that ripped apart part of Kimberly City/Branson.  My aunt and uncle lives in that neck of the woods and I have yet to hear about their whereabouts.

I haven't been writing anything new for The Towndgers album.  It seems that I cannot write music anymore and that the songwriter's block is so bad that nothing works and nothing rhymes or even make sense.  Somewhat like this entry.  I am beginning to think that the writing is on the wall and perhaps I should retire from it all, music, record collecting to live out my years in blissful ignorance watching crappy cable TV reality shows.  Bristol Palin has a new reality show?  Is this why cable rates go up?  For programming shit like this?  Is it even worth to turn on the TV to watch the news only to get bombarded by commericals of places that I hate.  Kaplin University?  fuck them!  Home Choice Health Care?  Fuck them too!  Century Link? Shove this up your ass Mr. Smug dude!  And let's not get into all them drug commercials that they throw at us?  I don't give a fuck for Lupitor nor Viagra.  Watching sports anymore is a damn chore if you don't have the remote around.  We can't get rid of the Palins.  If it ain't Sarah the Screech on FOX spewing her right wing bullshit, it's her peanut butter spreading legs daughter Bristol Creme talking about absence.  Practice what you preach sweetheart.  I thought you went back to Alaska to get away from the public and the cameras but like your mom you want to be noticed once again.  Go fucking away and leave us be.

Being a blogger of music news and views the past 10 years may have robbed me a decade of living real time life but then again what would I be doing had I haven't had the computer?  I've seen some of my favorite bloggers talk tunes and get bored with it and move on to other things, I've seen my former chat buddies in the music chat rooms returning to real time life with their grandchildren or family and have no time to stay up late night to talk tunes anymore.  Funny how times changed.

February the gas prices kept going up every week or every other five days.  Never seen such greed on the part of Wall Street and the Oil Speculators playing the fear card to make themselves richer whereas we get poorer and can't go anywhere.  So much for Arizona, I just don't see the need to travel out there on airport and get fee'd over to spend 5 bucks a gallon searching for things I could probably find at home for less.  I might be the only person that likes to go to Hastings but they been known to have a 3 or 4 dollar cd that is on the want list.  Ya think looking at my stacks that there's not much left to seek but there is.  The local Half Priced Bookstore reminds me of that.

The death of Davy Jones from the Monkees has once again set the tone of our morality and how much time we have left on this planet and 66 years is not a long time, nor was 53 when my friend Dennis died last July.  And I haven't recovered over that.  Losing a part of your life isn't replaceable.   But Davy Jones goes back to watching The Monkees on TV Saturday mornings and his death is another piece of myself that has died too.  In my perfect world, things would begin and end in the 60s or 70s, of things taken for granted (Drive Ins, Record Stores) and then missing them once they are part of history.  I'm beginning to recede from this world, waking up and just wishing I could remain home and not drive God's green Earth to a job that pays the bills but dealing with crap printers that break and traffic that tries my patience.  There's a breaking point and a vanishing point and I think I'm passing one and coming up to another.  I recall a coworker, Glarice who succumb to this lifestyle, working at a job and tired of dealing with the idiots and machines, suddenly quits and spends the rest of her days, avoiding everybody.  I think I'm slowly falling into her trap.  But I do go out there to visit her gravesite just to let her know that she was a part of this life for a few short moments.

I think I spend too much time on the internet and have been the last 10 years or so.  Guess you can say I'm a net addict and bullshit myself that I won't be spending so much time in the days to follow.  I have to sort out more music to donate that I don't listen to anymore.  But at the same time, planning for another Mad City trip to replace what is donated and the cycle repeats itself.   I think the Top Ten Of The Week has been a habit and  routine which is why it has continue.  Yep, I get bored with it easily too but people tend to read them.  It's a out for me but they take so much time and effort that sometimes I wonder if spending two hours research and putting them up means anything.  I'm sure once Blogspot becomes history they'll be gone for the ages and everything will be gone just like MSN forums.  The Classic Rock folk at About.Com didn't care for my stuff, I didn't play only to the classic rock era and thought that the Kings Of The Sun were more rock and roll than Guns & Roses.  It's a tough lonely road trying to get the fuckers at Universal to reissue The Brains albums and not get anywhere but they'll reissue Motley Crue or Elvis Costello five times over.  Maybe I'm trying and getting carpel tunnel for no good reason otherwise to piss off the status quo and the Classic Rock Forums who don't think outside of China Grove or Sweet Home Alabama.  Try an fail at the same time and wonder what good was it in the first place.

So Jerry Gaskill of King's X suffers a heart attack but he should be back on the mend and hope that he is but Davy Jones has a heart attack and checks out of this world.  Ya never know when your time is up and neither do I.  As I look around this God forsaken world we live in, driven by Wall Street Oil Speculators betting on 5 dollar a gallon gas and Republicans idea of jobs is to take over a woman's body and enforce stupid laws since they're pissed that a black man is now president and they couldn't find a decent half thinking person to defeat him.  And gas prices keep going up day by day.  Sometimes and some days I look at this situation and wish I can say "beam me up Scotty, no intelligent life down here".  But all I can do is just blank about it and watch my thoughts fade away like the blank look on my face.

If we ever meet again, I'm sure we'll pick up where we left off but sometimes you need a break to assess what you have and where it leads.

And hope you have enough time to enjoy it too.

PS.  I noticed that the last five spam responses came from porn sites.  Let me explain the situation before I block this off.  This is a music site with commentary about other things, porn not one of them.  Anything remotely linking to porn sites will be deleted with no second thought about it.  I have no interest in porn sites and neither does the readership here.  This is why I had to redo the comments and read them first for approval.   But I'm sure this won't stop them.