It's been a dry month here, for the rainy season not good. Four years ago was a different story, rain every other day till 31 feet of Red Cedar muck changed Cedar Rapids forever but one thing has remained the same. Every year at this time we get our flying shitbag so called friends the infamous Redwing blackbirds to start divebombing you when your out for a walk any place around here that has a corn field or a puddle.
I hate these fucking birds, oh they're nice to look at with that commie red wing, too bad the good lord didn't plant a swastika instead. Redwings have the same temperament as a Nazi or Dick Cheney. Imagine a bird with a Dick Cheney attitude. These mutherfuckers would dive bomb you and say Go Fuck Yourself on a infinite loop.
I think global warming has made these birds even more angry or pissed off. I can't walk the building around work anymore in the day time for having two or three of these flying shit torsos circling around you. Sherrie, our security guard told me that those evil three (they're named Dick Cheney, Fuckface & Koch suck) chased her up and down the road coming into work. Hell even the old crow bird was sitting out there on the lamppost and having two of these fucking birds biting its tail feathers before it took off. Basically I got sick and tired of throwing rocks and badly missing the hovering flying shit bag and flipping it off and decided the hell with it and just wait till after dark to do my walk around the building.
We don't get the nice birds, the Cardinals, the Goldfinchs, Orioles although Robins and Chickadees still prevail, it usually the GD redwings that drove all them away or chase the walkers back into the building. I'm thinking of getting either 2 tin pie pans and smack them everytime the fucking shit bags come within a foot of myself or one of those airhorns. The Canadian Geese are not as problemmatic, although their problem is they shit more than the Dick Cheney Redwings. I seriously think that we should have a day of shooting redwings and fuck that law prohibiting shooting redwings. Everywhere you go here in Cowpie Iowa land, you see Redwings on every GD fence and traffic sign outside of town. Some stupid dumbfuck GOP person wanted hunters to shoot doves which makes me want to shoot the fucktard for making that rule up and not consider shooting Redwing Blackbirds. Maybe the fool likes them flying shit bombers pecking him in the back of his head but I'm just about ready to say fuck the Mirgation Law and fire away on the overpopulated Redwing Blackbirds. Don't worry folks, they'll make more and divebomb you if you're around their nest.
And leave the damn doves alone.
And I think the folks at get dental implants info dot com for their support of my blog. It shows that they're truly on top of the music world. Or bestbxcleaner, if these folks are into music I wish they let me know on the secret, they seem to like me for a referring site here at blogspot. Gamerzhut too. In fact, go to their website and mention Crabby sent me and they'll set ya up for a discount. Chances are they'll probably go Dick Cheney on you but hey it's worth a try.
Crabb Terms that nobody else uses:
CCC Radio (or just plain CCC) A derogatory comment thrown at Clear Channel and Cumulus for all the radio stations that are own by them in this area. Chances are if you hear overplayed shit like Train's Soul Sister or Broken Wings, that would be your neighborhood Clear Channel or Cumulus station (KDAT).
Bacon Bits: Police
FMR: As much as I try to keep things PG or G, a good rant will throw a few F bombs or MF just like Redwing blackbirds I have been known to use abbreviations to get my point across. You learn a few things in the 10 years that have been blogging for me, what it really means is Find More Records.
Off to work and other things, let's hope I can make it to the car without a fucking flying gestapo coming after me like a scene from The Birds.
BTW: Shoot a Redwing Blackbird. you'll feel better.
Dick Cheney (or gone Dick Cheney) A term stolen from Family Guy to which Cheney as a Wal Mart greeter tells people to go fuck themselves.
Iggy Pop Factor (Loud Mixed Cds) Another derogatory term for TOO LOUD CDs. Around 1996 Iggy Pop remixed Raw Power to a mix that overpowers the original version and to which one has to turn the volume down on the player. A lot of the albums of 2000's and even to this day (the new Rush Clockwork Angels, Metallica's Death Magnetic) the end results is distorted to the point that it ruins the original intention of music. To which music should be enjoyed at a reasonable volume and not blaring in your face.
And if you read this far, more fun stuff coming: More Music Of My Years, The Teen Idol Years and another installment of Can't Review Them All and it's all about the DONT YELL AT ME singers that plague Top 40 and KDAT. You'll love that one.
Update on the Redwings: They're still attacking and chasing anybody that goes around the building by the road out of work. Only thing we can do is either ignore the flying shit bag fucks or wait till after the sun sets when the flying bags of fuckola call it a night.
I'm still open to shooting each and every one of them.
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