Greetings folks. Since you're probably tired of turkey that you had today, it's time for the annual 2009 Turkey Turd Albums Of The Year. This will be the final Turkey Turds Of The Year since next year I am retiring from reviewing new albums. I've been doing this on a regular basis since 1975 and I heard just about everything imaginable. I like variety and not be held hostage by the same playlist that classic rock radio has been shoving down our throats for the last twenty years. Which is why I have continue to buy and listen to music, I need to hear something different.
This decade has to be the worst in terms of music and what has come out of it. I really haven't played much of any albums of this decade all that much and what I read from these magazines touting the best of this decade I don't get. Kid A? yuck. The Strokes Is This It? Unfortunly yeah and pretty bland too. Yankee Hotel Foxtrot? Good but that not great. But what do I know? I perfer three chords and the truth and a little boogie to boot. I'm easy to please but the big four labels don't care and don't want to appease me so screw em.
I reviewed 87 albums this year. Some good, some not so good and the rest fall in between. But there were some turds this year that did make the infamous list. I thought I was getting better in buying some good music but these examples proved that I don't know it all. Radiohead fans you're spared this year. And here's this year's least.
1. Train-Save Me San Francisco (Columbia) Sure they were never much of a critic's band but I did like their first album and For Me It's You and perhaps it was Brendan O'Brien that kept them from the compose heap but on this their latest, Pat Monahan and company sell their soul to get back to the MOR radio station and fall on their ass as this record bombed bigtime. You know your in trouble when you start sampling Black Water in order to get a hit. It didn't work. By far their worst album ever. It may even get them booted from Sony Music.
2. Hoobastank-For(n)ever (Island) Why these guys are still on a major label is beyond me. This type of emo music hasn't been in favor since they trotted out The Reason, which had their best song but like everything else, Hoobastank couldn't come up with enough songs to make that album memorable. Everytime their lead singer sings that annoying boy band falsetto whine, I hit the fast forward button. I bought this cd in the bargain bins for three bucks, just a week after it was released. That should have been a indication that this cd would suck.
3. Wolfmother-Cosmic Egg (Interscope) Never trust Rolling Stone and their four star rated albums such as this. Wolfmother made a pretty good decent album a couple years ago and it proudly showed off it's Black Sabbath/Deep Purple/Hawkwind roots. This time out Andrew Stockdale gets rid of the other guys, and goes for a more Billy Squier leading Black Sabbath mode. Ugly as it sounds but I think Billy Squier wrote better songs. Musically it's not bad but when Stockdale starts singing or yelling, it's a headache upon itself.
4. Grizzly Bear-Veckatimest (Warp) Progessive folk rock?!? Are you kidding me? Yet another band that is touted by Spin or Rolling Stone and when I listen to this I wonder what the hell is the fuss is about. Grizzly Bear, along with Animal Collective might just be one of the most overrated bands that I have heard. I long for the days of three chords and the truth and some boogie rather than be bored out of my ass listening to slow, plodding songs that take forever to get done.
5. UFO-The Visitor (SPV) Once upon a time, this band made some classic albums and even into this decade Phil Mogg and company still could come up with some listenable albums which the last one You Are Here had Jason Bonham setting in and actually singing background. But with the loss of Pete Way, The Visitor kinda loses focus and Phil Mogg can't sing very well anymore. Disappointing but not as bad as the four albums ahead of this.
6. Melody Gardot-My One And Only Thrill (Verve) Gardot made one of the most refreshing albums of this decade with Worrysome Heart to which she was paired with a very small combo and she made some cool soft jazz/pop. This time out, Larry Klein sticks her with plenty of strings and things and slows the tempos down to a crawl and it didn't work very well. I say get her back to basics with her first album and she'll be all right.
7. Jet-Shaka Rock (EMI) They're becoming a one hit wonder with each new record. Shine On bombed and so Jet tries to return to the sound of Get Born. It didn't work, they actually got more pompous if you can believe that. It's pretty bad when on your hit you rip off The Knack. Another forgettible effort from a band who better save up their royalty checks. Even Budweiser couldn't find a useable song off Shaka Rock.
8. John Rich-Son Of A Preacher Man (Warner Brother) The musiz mafia is falling apart. Big And Rich put out a greatest hits package after three albums, Big Kenny's new CD is so eco friendly you can plant it into the ground and it will grow and there's rumours that Gretchen Wilson is no longer on Sony Music. Had a top ten song with Shuttin Detroit Down and I have heard that his acoustic version would have been classic. Some fairly good stuff but there's a lotta FOX news influenced crapola as well.
9. Radio Moscow-Brain Cycles (Alive) Great debut album and this followup isn't as good and a bit more toward the Blue Cheer sound and Parker Griggs sounding a bit more like Dicky Peterson at spots down to the screams. But like Wolfmother's latest the music remains pretty good. It's the vocals that drag it down.
10. Green Day-21st Century Breakdown (Reprise) And finally, it's unthinkable for me to include a Green Day album into the gobble gobble bins (maybe their first but since they were mare teens back then they get a pass) but on listening to this again I can't believe how overproduced this record was and how LOUD and DISTORTED it is when I play it on the player. Perhaps their performance on the AMA's have something to do with this album on the ten least. They made their great statement on American Idiot five years ago but on this effort it sounds like rehash and their great statement is no different nor better than U2's latest which didn't make the least ten since I didn't buy it. I do not need Billie Joe Armstrong making great statements, I want him to rock out and not overproduce it. This record is 71 minites long and feels longer and for a Green Day album that's unthinkable. And won't warrant too many listens either.
So basically, the first four albums are turds down to the core and the rest do have moments but somehow either the arrangements or the album overstaying their welcom plays a role into this.
And so it goes people. This concludes my final Turkey shoot for the decade and my reviewing career. But don't worry, I still have lots of decent music to listen to.
