For everything, there's a beginning....
When it comes to romance I'm the most inept. My past history has shown that. Wasted oppotunites and wrong place at the wrong time. I have laughed at the e harmony ads, puked when i've seen those dammed Match.com models making google eyes and slowing my dialup even down while trying to drive a top ten. It's hard to blog anymore on My Space and besides I don't have a Match.com profile.
I basically gave up looking for love after my last disasterous relationship with Isabella in 2001 and pretty much spent most of the decade searching for music, hanging at music stores and blogging bout it. I didn't buy a computer for finding love but rather continue my music research, hell I was a failure at love in my 40 plus years of living. Unlike my best friend who needed a constant companion, I was perfectly happy to live my life as a loner and come and go as I pleased. When Russ told me about a certain website for singles, I just rolled my eyes and threw up a profile and didn't think much about it later. Oh, I did go into the chat and had a good time chatting with people. But Russ did set me up with a woman calling herself Seaba and we talked for a bit and she mentioned that she was hosting a Mingles party in St Louis later in the year and convinced me to go since the original intent was that she wanted to meet me. Sighing, I decided to go but with the option of going elsewhere if the party turned out to be a bust.
I've been to single parties before and they pretty boring if your not into one nighters or getting drunk and showing people why your still single (or been married X amount of times). But I did get there on a thursday and met Seaba and we really didn't have much in common and besides she had her new boyfriend there but I did get to meet a few folks of note. There was talk of a couple more folk from Mingles to show up, but while most of them were either getting drunk and acting silly, I took off to Vintage Vinyl, to spend four hours scouring through the records and cds and then got back to the hotel where I was staying at.
There was a late arrival of some when I got to see some young woman with her mom. She'd come into chat and wouldn't stay too long but she always said Hi when I said hi to her. She was sitting in the hotel lobby with her mom and that's the first time I met Passeygirl aka Nicole. I went up and shook her hand and said "you probably don't know me but I'm the infamous Townedger" and we proceeded to talk most of the night away. She had a boyfriend at the time and I really didn't press the issue, after all I had 17 years on her and that was the last thing she needed, some old 39 year old bullshitter trying to sweettalk his way into her life. People come and go, why should this be different? But I was happy to be a friend of Nicole and we did share some good times and chatting together.
Over the years, our lives were involved with others but we managed to stay in touch with a series of blogging and plesantries thru Mingles. I had a My Space band site and Crabb site and invited her to follow the latest misadventures and top ten weekly songs that I put together. And I did sent some of my music out to her for which she liked a lot. But I never really considered her more than a good friend, an acquitance of talking tunes n life. Sure, I did spend a few times walking down the old bike trail and thinking maybe what if we could be together but then decided that I was too old for her anyway and moved on the next music subject.
But somewhere along the way of life something changed. Diggy Kat, my music buddy out in Cally asked me what I thought about her and if there's a possiblity bout Nicole and me ever dating and I thought and said "if she turns 30 we'll see but I don't think i'm her type anyway". I didn't give it much thought when Nicole emailed me to see about getting more of my music and in the process sent me 20 bucks. But that did raise an eyebrow. I would have given the tunes for her free since she was a big fan.
In terms of life, you meet so many people along the way and only the few that stay remain friends and then somewhere along the way love gives you a second chance. I known Nicole for 9 years just about but somehow, someway I must have came in and swept her off her feet without me knowing it. We were talking thursday about something and she asked if I felt my ears a burning and I told her that actually i got sunburned but what's your point?
And then it stuck me, that Nicole became more closer to me and closer to my heart. That somehow she knew her away from the maze of barriers to my heart. How did she get so close to me without me knowing, or was i just plain blind? Shit, I was never lucky in love or in relationships. Then she mentioned "remember when you said you would date me when I turn thirty? I'm almost 31......
Sometimes things in life change when it doesn't work out. I haven't seen much of Seaba since then and the guy she evenutally married, she divorced and slimmed down next to nothing but I don't care about her. It is Nicole who has been the most reliable and truest of friends that I have known in the 10 years of internet life. I don't give her enuff credit, she has been a inspiration for me the past couple years and have always loved her from a distance. I could learn to love her more as well.
It's a new beginning....
